Monday, September 10, 2007

With Time (experience) Comes Wisdom

The title I was going to use on this entry was Time Brings Such Sweet Revenge", but it didn't actually fit, because it isn't about revenge. Its more about I told you so.... only I didn't 'told you so'. I just let it happen and watched it play out over several years.

This is a tale about one of my daughters. The forth child (4 out of 5) who is now a mature mother of two and lives in Texas. I recently received an email from her asking me to send her pictures of her childhood. Pictures I no longer have because she took them back in 2002.

Let me set the background.

In 2002 she and her family stopped by for a few minutes. I don't remember why. While there she spotted a large photo album with some loose photos sitting on top. She "innocently" asked if she could take them. "I want to scrapbook them and keep them from fading." Yeah, right. I knew right then she was taking them because she didn't think I would take good care of them, you know, since I wasn't anal about them. (These are pictures I've been lugging around for decades. Thirty years or more in some cases.) To her credit, she has since admitted that was why she took them. Good for her.

And as far as the anal part goes... I'm not. Oh sure, pictures are nice to look through once in a while, like at funerals or incarcerations, but I'm not a freak about them. Know what I mean? So I said "sure, go ahead if thats what you want to do" but deep inside I knew she would lose them. I had that 'knowing' feeling. And now that 'knowing' feeling has become a fact and its come home to roost... just not on my head.

It took several emails back and forth before she remembered she had custody of the photos. And she no longer has them. It doesn't freak me out any and I'm very glad she's finally remembered who had them last so she isn't going around trying to get someone else to pick up the blame.... however, her poor hubby might have to get it dumped on him. He gets blamed for a lot of things. He's handy, that way.

I would bet money on how and when the photos got dumped, although I'd never say anything to my daughter. She would just jump all over hubby and it wouldn't be fair. He may still get jumped on for losing them, but it won't be because I said anything.

Wanna know what I think happened to them? If so, just keep reading.

I think they got left behind during a move from a house to a townhouse apt. During this move my daughter packed up a few boxes and then spent the rest of the time at the new apartment. That left hubby to pack up everything else and move it. One person. One person with a full time job. One person with a two story house and a full garage to be the only one moving anything.

They had asked several of their friends, their church friends, to come help them move the heavy furniture. There was suppose to be five big strong guys, but I think only one person showed up. (Hubby had to go track him down, too.) After the furniture was moved, it was back to hubby being the only one to get all the crappy stuff thats at the end of a move. I suspect he got to the place where he just said "screw it" (to himself, of course) and started dumping things. And I must say I don't blame him at all, either. In fact, I think he should have found his backbone and told his lazy wife to get up and help him.... but he didn't. My guess is the photos got dumped during that move.

If wifey would have helped with the move, then maybe she would still have the photos. Or if wifey hadn't judged me as being incapable of maintaining them, she might have gotten them now. I'm not sure if she'll get the connection to what her contribution was in all of this.... but I'm sitting here smiling. Not meanly, or nastily, but smiling with a touch of an unspoken 'I told you so'.

I hope I'm able to apply bits of this crusty wisdom to some of my own life lessons, but its harder to see when it involves the self. Know what I mean?


Anonymous said...

Hummm... interesting. My problem with situations like this is NO ONE EVER REMEMBERS WHAT REALLLLLY HAPPEN... I can recall conversations tit for tat and that is a curse because no one else EVER does... And I guess if I have a pet peeve it would be people not remembering what reallllly happened and what was REALLLLLY said.

I'm to the point where I almost want to jot down notes and have people sign them, JUST SO THEY WILL REMEMBER their own part...

I identify with your feelings of satisfaction of knowing your daughter better than she knows herself...


cat's momma said...

I read the whole thing 'cause I found your insight to your daughter so interesting! I'm glad she finally remembered she took custody of them! Life lessons...yeah.