Thursday, November 30, 2006

Bryon Katie

I just stumbled onto Bryon Katie's blog... go figure. (Katie's is the "The Work" woman.) I just know it will reflect her day to day life in a very honest manner, don't you?

Edit: My bad. It doesn't look like a "regular" blog. Is it true? I don't know... You'll have to find out for yourself.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

"Wha Happen?"

I was ready for a noneventful day where the only thing to talk about would be the weather. It hasn't ended up that way. Its been like a whirl wind went thru here and left me spinning.

This afternoon my youngest adult daughter came over on the bus with grandson Darius. 'Mom' got on the pc and phone right away. Darius and I were left to our own devices. (We were both trying to be the boss.)

If bodily functions and misfunctions bother you, stop reading now.

Darius had a severe bout of diahrrea... like colored water. It ended up getting all over his pants. No extra underpants or diapers brought with them, either. (D was wearing a diaper because of past incidents of said bowel movements.)

My daughter has the uncanny knack of sucking up the last of any money I might have on hand. I'm not sure where this skill came from, but it seems to be a natural ability. Officially, I donated my last few bucks to get some diapers. Functionally, I didn't want D. running around bare-assed in case, you know, something else happened unexpectedly.

After I pried the phone from Candace's ear, she drove my car to the store for the much needed diapers. Darius played in the bath tub until her return. He seemed very normal. Didn't act sick at all.

Darius then said he was hungry so he had one of his favorites... noodles, Top Ramen noodles. In the mean time, I'm washing out his pants by hand. I was hoping to get them clean and dry so the little guy would have something to wear on the bus when he went home. I tried to work some 'gramma' magic. It didn't work. I thought I might be able to get the pants dry using the oven, but they were too thick and it was taking too long. Cha-Ching Cha-CHing went the meter.

Then out of the blue D. upchucks his lunch. First on the rug...then mom moved him to the kitchen and he continued. There couldn't have been anything left in his stomach and there hadn't been any digesting going on either.

On the rug. I have to emphasize that... ON THE RUG, PEOPLE!! All that weaving... all those threads to absorb 'stuff'. ohgawd... sigh .... ohwell.

'Mom' called one of her friends to see if she would come by after work and take them home. Before I knew it, one of the friend's daughters was here. Something had happened at school and the friend had to get her child... didn't have anyone to watch her and that's when Candace called. She came over here for Candace to watch.

I never considered myself to be claustraphobic before but I began feeling the walls closing in, the noise level going up, and there was no where to go to get away from it all.

C. finally asked if I had enough gas to take them to the friend's home until she got off work. "Ohmygawd YES! Quick... hurry, hurry!"

I just got back from dropping them off. Ya know, to be honest, I've kind of started looking forward to my daughter and grandson(s) living out of state. Just a little bit. Who am I kidding... a LOT!

I dumped the sentimental thinking and got real!!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Coffee cup in hand

 
As I sit here at the pc looking out the window I can see tiny microscopic snow falling. So small and sparse its not easy to see them. Brrrrr its cold and suppose to get colder tomorrow...down in the teens.

We had a tiny sprinkling of snow this morning but it quickly melted. I was going to take a picture of it (so exciting! NOT) but the batteries pooped out. Must have been all those Thanksgiving pictures that were taken. I had put Candace in charge of taking the photos and she likes to use the "viewer" and that sucks the energy up quickly.

I came across an old handwritten journal from a couple of years ago when I had no income. I'm going to be tossing that baby real soon. What a downer.

I've nothing in particular to talk about... just thought I'd put a footprint out here for this day in history. If something else comes up later, I'll be back.
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Monday, November 27, 2006

Artist Kaziah Hancock

As usual, I watched the Today show this morning and they had a segment on about artist Kaziah Hancock and her portraits of compassion. She paints portraits of fallen soldiers and sends them to the families... and all of it is free of charge.

I searched the Today show web site looking for the segment, but couldn't find anything. Then I went globally... which means I googled her, and found what looks like the original interview. What you read is what was on the Today show. I strongly recommend looking at the video of the artist to get a good sense of her. She's as colorful as her portraits.

There are five or six other nationally well known artist participating in this project. I think there is a link at the bottom of the article, if you are interested.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

NDE

NDE = Near Death Experience for those who are not familar with the initials. I have a site that I've had bookmarked for many years. I think I've read all the experiences that came from the home page, but I just discovered some more descriptions that have been submitted by visitors to the site.

You can check it out here.

If you want to check out the site from 'the beginning', go here.

Wet Sunday

 
I've lost a corner somewhere. The corner use to be in my bedroom but for the last six or seven months its been lost. It all started when I was trying to find a place for some large watercolor and newsprint pads. In order to keep the pages flat it really needed to be at rest on a flat surface. With only 384 sq feet in this apartment, finding that spot would take some sluthing... but I found one. The corner, of course. And it would just be for a few days until a permanent place could be found.

A few weeks later I began looking through some boxes I had stored in the closet. They had been there since move-in day. ooohhhh... look what I have! I had forgotten about this... and this, oh.... and that!! In order not to forget what I had, I decided to put the boxes in the corner with the other large pads, you know, until I could figure out a place to put the things in view. Out of sight, out of mind.

What I discovered, besides the dust bunnies, is that even with the boxes of art supplies (and other 'office' type of things) out in the open, I still forgot what was in them. And in order not to lead you astray I must clarify that the boxes were not necessarily full. A few things here... a few things there.

So far I've moved the pile of pads. They are now resting comfortably on my bed along with the dusty, unuseable printer that had been on the floor. (I'm out of ink for the printer.) Today I plan on going through the boxes to see what I can consolidate and what I can toss. Then the challenge will be where to put the boxes that are left.

My ultimate goal is to rearrange the bedroom. Its a long room rather than a square one. The bed currently protrudes out into the room with the head up against the wall. I want to put the bed length wise against the wall to free up more floor space. My hope is to be able to set up my large easel and have room on the side for placing paint palettes, brushes, and whatnots. It sounds like a do-able goal, doesn't it. But we'll have to wait and see. I make great lists but thats usually as far as it goes.

Last evening my neighbor brought me 8 oz. of Christmas Blend decaf Starbucks coffee. Her timing was perfect. I had just used the last of what I had to make a pot. As a new Starbucks employee she gets one of these free each month. I almost keyed in a sarcastic comment about a a whole 8 oz. a month but thought that would be tacky and show off my cynical side. Luckily I caught myself in time.

A freaky accident here locally... is it a case of destiny? Four guys in an extended cab pickup driving at freeway speeds. No rain. No wind. A huge tree falls and crushed the front seat area of the cab killing both occupants. Those in the tiny back seat were not injuried. How freaky is that. No wind. Freeway speed. Gives pause for consideration about destiny.

My pc is acting crazy. Things freeze up, I finally get a dialog box saying there is something abnormal about the display. No shi*t, Sherlock. It goes into "safe mode" and I'm instructed to reboot and when I get an error message I should send it off to Microsoft. I do the reboot but don't get the error message. Sigh. Is it related to the beta software I'm currently dealing with? Who knows, but thats what I'm blaming it on. Whine Whine I wanna go back to the old version... the tried and true version. Posted by Picasa

Friday, November 24, 2006

Progress shot... Amaryllis

 
This photo was taken yesterday, eight days after it hit the dirt.
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Thursday, November 23, 2006

Thanksgiving

 
 
 
 
Just a few pictures from Thanksgiving. It was very pleasant and nice, although the weather stunk royally. Windy and Wet!

Cool door knob and fireplace.

Parenthood sucks... sometimes. Maybe it has to do with being a lousy parent. Perhaps to the good parents its wonderful, but I gotta say I think its just the luck of the draw with good parents, too. After being completely responsible and having your entire personal life sucked into the care and feeding of others, after being blamed for everything that is/was wrong in their lives, after being the butt of so many crappy jokes (both as parents and in-laws), you become a distant thought, if that. Those sweet, innocent, little cherubs fake you out. "awwwwww... I want one. Or two." (evil snickering in background.) The one sure fire way to ensure a relationship with adult family members is to be wealthy. But even then you have to be careful once you've made out your will. You might be wise to hire a food taster.

Too much turkey, I guess. And too much rain.
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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Rainy Wednesday

Rainy grey day. I did a load of laundry early this morning. I have to walk to the back of the apartments to reach the laundry room. My first trip involved a light rain. My second trip to put the clothes in the drier involved a "regular" rain. You know where this is going, don't you. My last trip involved a monsoon. What fun. An umbrella, a wide laundry basket, keys to open doors.... and huge drops of rain falling in front of my door. Once I got things put away and sat down I noticed the rain had reverted back to 'light rain'. Sigh.

Nothing else going on here. I don't have to do anything for Thanksgiving dinner except to show up. And now I have clean clothes to wear. What could be better. I wonder if it would be tacky if I brought plastic containers to bring home food. Yeah, you're right. Tacky.

If you don't watch much TV, or you have a life, the following will put you to sleep.

I had a chance to see a clip of the infamous Clay and Kelly incident where Clay put his hand over Kelly's mouth. It was not just a playful gesture. He held it there firmly and for too long. Kelly had to manually remove it. Sorry if you are a Clay fan, but that should not have happened. He was out of pocket. After Kelly told him that was 'a no-no' she tried to put some humor into it saying "After all, I don't know where that hand has been."

Rosie (the View) took offense saying that was a homophobic comment and that Kelly wouldn't have said that if it was a straight guy or a cute guy. It didn't sound like it to me. Shoot... I'd have the same worry about any male, straight or gay!

And what about Richards (aka Kramer)... did he lose it or what?!? Maybe he has always had anger issues... or else he was coming down from drugs. But what a mess that whole thing is, including his "apology" on Letterman. He seemed disoriented and lost. And the anger could be seen in that place, too. It sure won't help the sales of the Seinfeld DVD that has just been released.

See, told you. B O R I N G

Monday, November 20, 2006

The Sting of Beta

Remember when I mentioned a few days ago that downloading a beta version of software means you need to get ready for problems. That 'beta' means its a test version to work out the programming bugs. Well damned if I didn't get bit. grrrr

What I mentioned a few days ago was for something else, but this morning I uploaded what I thought was a 'regular' Internet Explorer update. Turns out it is a beta version. And sure enough, I'm experiencing display problems. #($*&#(*$&

And I don't get paid for this, either!

Not a Good Mix

 
A scene from the movie As Good As It Gets. Loved the movie, love the studio. Sigh.

Not a Good Mix.... You must be talking about Clay and Kelly on Regis And Kelly Live last Friday. I had the program on Friday but after listening to a few banters between Clay and Kelly I went into another room. My mistake. I missed the hand-over-the-mouth move by Clay.

I missed a hint that I should continue watching the show. I thought there was some...hmmmm .... some snipping going on by Ms Clay, but I didn't keep watching it. Now I wish I had so I could form my own opinion as to what went on during the guest interview portion. Apparently Ms. Clay put his hand over Kelly's mouth. It was reported as a spontaneous gesture done in a joking manner. I don't know. I didn't see it for myself.

However, I did see Kelly 'ragging' on Ms. Clay this morning and that wasn't good to watch either. It put Ms. Kelly in a bad light. Based on that, I'd say they are now even.

Nothing much going on here.... again. This is good news. We've got soggy weather. Its suppose to clear a bit on Thanksgiving day. I hope so.
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Saturday, November 18, 2006

Nothing much.... you?

 
Nothing much happening around here. We're having a dry day but its a bit cold. I might do dishes. Oh hell, I will do dishes. In fact, I've already done dishes. Its just time to do some more.
I got nothing. Nothing at all.
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Friday, November 17, 2006

I mean REALLY!

I'm becoming really tired of the media shoving TomKat down our throats. Really, I mean who really gives a shit other than 20 something females who still believe in romance novels. Don't get me wrong. I hope they have a lovely wedding and survive the marriage. But I'm not related. I'm not even an distant friend. I don't really care that the wedding is going to be in Italy. Why is the media trying so damn hard to make it a world wide event, for gawd sake. She had his baby... its time they got married. Period. Give me a break. And the fact that Kat paid $4,000 for a baby dress just pisses me off. I don't care Inside Edition. I don't give a rat's ass, Access Hollywood. Why should this even be mentioned on the 6pm news. Geeze!!

On a different subject, I see there is a beta version of blogger via google. Beta version. You know what that is, don't you? It means you are using a trial version that doesn't have all the kinks work out. Back away from beta.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

House Demolition

 
 
 
 
The new owners of the house on one side of use, the local community college, has begun to demolition it. Rumor has it that its going to be turned into a parking lot. I don't seem to have a preference one way or the other. The community college has really expanded a lot in the last twenty years, which is good for this area. It was run down and suffering. Now the college is and has been buying up property whenever its become available.

Yesterday, with the winds blowing up a storm, the workers were busy as bees. Today the sun is out and it is calm.... and no workers. Perhaps they were just charged with removing the old siding. The workers were completely suited up, including respirator masks. Makes you wonder what the siding was made of, doesn't it.

One shot is showing the workers on lunch break. Looked like they were having homemade burritos or something similar. They worked quickly and there wasn't any goofing off, wind or no wind.
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Wind Damage

 
 
We lost a tree to the wind yesterday.  Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

My Guy

 
 
 
I caught up with my little guy yesterday. We met at a mutual friend's new apt. Boxes and 'stuff' were all over and there wasn't many places to sit down and visit so I didn't stay too long.

'Mom' says they will have to leave no later than this coming Sunday. She said they may be back for Christmas.
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Bulb In Dirt...Progress photo

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Sunday, November 12, 2006

Warning: Amaryllis Alert!

 
 
 
No. Amaryllisi are not taking over the world, but it does look like at least one of them will be taking over this blog for a while. Its about the only thing moving around here and that's fine with me. I could do with a break from the neighbors' criminal activity in the form of drugs and busts and things.

I spotted the display of Amaryllis-i gift boxes in the store and grabbed one. (What is the plural of Amaryllis?) I love how they grow so FAST and I adore the deep red ones. What a splash of color they bring a room. I hope I've got enough sunlight for them. Once the drug dealers are gone from the apartments I can have my window blinds open more.

This one looks like today better be the day I put water to dirt. I swear, it looks like the tips of the pale foliage (snicker... 'foliage'... snicker again) has turned just a tad green by simply being out of the box.

Out of the box. Is that like being out of the closet?

There will, no doubt, be subsequent photos documenting the blooming of this wonderously growing bulb.

And on a different note... notice how gas prices have increased? I noted a 5 cent increase three days after the elections. We are so manipulated!
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Friday, November 10, 2006

How Many Wars?

How many wars does it take before we experience a victory?

War On Poverty....
War On Drugs......
War On Terrorists.

Wars don't seem to be working. Not working at all.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Big Ole Drug Bust... the old fashion kind.

Man... it scared the living crap outta me!!! I thought my apt. was being bombed for a minute. Okay, it took more like 5 minutes to realize it. But I did think someone was shooting off shotguns into the wrong apartment. "WTF!!"

Wanna walk through it with me? Its the only thing I have to blog about.

I had been awake an hour earlier. Usual stuff for me, but I had dozed back off on the couch watching reruns of Jay Leno and those guys. All of a sudden I hear what sounds like cannons going off and things hitting my floor. Only it wasn't my floor but the floor above me. Two apartments were raided. The one next to me (infamous apt. C) and the one over me (apt. G)... so no wonder it sounded so close.

At the same time as the canisters of tear gas were being shot off, the metal doors were being busted open.... so all this horrendous noise happened at the same time.

(Now I think I have a better understanding of why they do it this way (loud and aggressive)... your stunned and unable to respond immediately.)

The apartments were surrounded by what looked like the army. National Guard, no doubt. And it looked like they were all holding weapsons. Army fatigue outfits, fully suited up. I felt like I was in a war zone for a minute.

As soon as everything had been secured then the 'army' took off on one of those SWAT TEAM vehicles and the city police took over. (The vehicle looked like it had toy soldiers hanging off of it as it pulled away. It made me think of Christmas when boys get army toys.)

The police are still here gathering evidence. I heard a burst of loud talking a few minutes ago.... maybe they discovered where the drugs were hid upstairs.

What a way to wake up. I can now more fully understand how upsetting it would be for those people who get busted by mistake. You know, when the cops hit the wrong house or apartment.

Still breathing a little fast.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Its all about the timing

 
The monsoons have stopped and we now have our regular November rain. The mold is having a field day.

The 'timing' I speak of happened this morning. The sky was overcast with individual clouds looking a bit menacing but it had an over-all friendly feel to it.... So I took my chances and went out for provisions. Bank, gas station, tobacco store, local market, and then the grocery discount store. While in the grocery store it sprinkled but it was over by the time I was loading the car. (for new readers... windshield wipers don't work, still. Shut up. It makes my life exciting.)And don't think I didn't notice my good fortune. I gave thanks. (Mother Nature likes that... beings who are not cocky (sorry guys) and are grateful for small favors. Its the only leverage I pretend I have.)

No sooner had I pulled up in front of my apartment and got the silver bullet parked when it began to sprinkle. The sprinkle then turned to rain. It hasn't stopped since then.

I know, I know... but this is all I've got. I lead a very reclusive life and I like it that way.
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Monday, November 06, 2006

"Waaaah!!! My Almond Mocha Jive is GONE...GONE, mon!

I have whined before that my very favorite-est coffee flavoring product can't be found on store shelves any more. At first I thought it was because it was so good everyone was buying up the stock. Not so, they say. ("they" being Folgers) They stopped making it because of low consumer demand. WTF??!?

I finally found where to contact Folgers to ask wha happened, dude? and this is the reply:

I'm sorry, but we discontinued this product and it's no longer available.
Generally, decisions to start or stop making products are based on consumer
demand, so feedback like yours is extremely valuable. Please be assured I'm
sharing your disappointment with the rest of our team.

Thanks again for writing.

P&G Team


I'm here to ask you for a favor... a 'flavor favor', if you will. Would you (lurkers, too) be willing to fill out their "contact us" form asking them to bring the Almond Mocha Jive flavor of their Cafe Latte product back. I swear... its really good. I pass up buying a commerical latte because I'd rather have this product at home and for the price, I get a lot more cups of coffee from it.

Here's the link to the contact page. You could simply say something like 'my friend told me you stopped making this product. ARE YOU CRAZY? Please bring it back!' (or something even more straight forward... 'I want the Almond Mocha Jive back or I'm dumping Folgers products all together.' You know, something simple like that.)

I noticed you can also get some free samples of their new coffee. I'm signing up!

Product Name is "Cafe Latte"
Product Version is "Almond Mocha Jive"

NOW LETS HEAR IT FOR BLOGGING POWER.... WHADA SAY!!! WE CAN DO THIS IF WE STICK TOGETHER! HOORAY!!!

ps... maybe you could pass this info on to your friends, too. Just a thought. Thanks

Got my voters ballot completed

My sympathies go to home owners and the subsequent property taxes. Holy Cats, Batman!! Surely that's not the only way to raise revenues. Maybe if a percentage of all campaign contributions could be used.... I'm thinking of the millions and billions spent on political campaigns. Or a percentage of the revenue from selling Superbowl advertisements. Hell, that would probably lower existing taxes... not that I know that much about things, but golly gee!!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Dressed for Noodles

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I had Darius over for the day. Here he is 'dressed for noodles' with a towel tied around his neck as a bib. Its an absolute necessity to catch the noodles that drop... all over!

He's a lover of Top Ramen noodles and that's the only thing in the house that he liked. (He passed on the cabbage....didn't want to have anything to do with it.) Here he is playing with apple slices after consuming two... TWO... packages of noodles. By himself. (He left the 'weiners'. His tastes must be maturing because weiners used to be one of his faves and the last two times I served them, he declined. Good boy!!)

So... after filling his tummy with carbs, closing the blinds a little, and turning down the TV until its just background noise, my boy slept three hours. You read it here.... THREE HOURS. How blessed am I?

As soon as he woke up completely he told me he was hungry again. This time it was tuna casserole and he had two helpings. ?!? I guess this was a catch-up day for him. He's staying with a family that has three small and smallish kids so I figure sleep is sparse as is the chance to get second helpings.

While waiting for him to be picked up we watched the funny animal section on youtube and laughed a lot at those crazy animals.

Oh... and hey... I also got some housework done!! I think it might have had something to do with taking a vitimin with B6 and 12. Energy/mood vitimins. I'm getting ready to go take another one for today.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Dang! I Should Have Taken My Camera

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I dashed to the store this morning (6am) in between rain showers. It was still dark and damp outside but no falling moisture. The streets were empty except for an occasional vehicle. I passed a small apartment complex and noticed five or six people loitering on the sidewalk. No doubt waiting for their dealer to wake up in one of the apartments. I suppose they could have been laborers waiting for someone to come by to offer them a days worth of work, but I don't think so. Call me cynical, for that is what I be.

As I finished in the store and walked to my car I noticed the car parked beside mine. You couldn't NOT notice it. It was a small older car shaped like a Senica (sp?) or something similar. It had been completely covered in various pieces of striped material... I'm guessing small rugs. It also had small colorful beads on it as further decoration. It didn't smack you in the face like the vehicles with sodered metal sculpture all over them... it was more subtle. Obvious yet subtle. The beads and fabric were beginning to dislodge probably due to wind levels. This is when I mentally kicked myself for not bringing my camera. (I should have listened to that small still voice.)

I just looked out the window. Good thing I went to the store early because it looks like its gonna start pouring soon. We are having a "pineapple express" here. Warm but wet. You would want long sleeves on but you could pass on a jacket if so desired.

Thats all I got for now.

Friday, November 03, 2006

What I should be doing...

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I so need to mop my kitchen floor. I'm sure once done it would make me feel all nice and .... and .... well, clean. Right now it looks like a dot-to-dot picture. Just a bit obscene, too.

As you may have ascertained, nothing else interesting happened yesterday. A dear friend sent me a card today. A real card as in US Postal Service. And it was personally hand delivered. I happened to be standing outside in front of my door and the happy mail man brought it up to me instead of putting it in the box next to the street. That was a delightful surprise, as was the card.

So.... did you hear about the high ranking church guy getting outsed in more ways than one? Okay, okay, so everyone is innocent until proven guilty but thats only the propaganda they teach in grade school. I heard he admitted to purchasing meth one time, but as Clinton also said, he didn't inhale. Trying to get his sexy on, I bet.

Anyone who ever messes with meth has got to be TOTALLY CLUELESS or hell bent on self-destruction. Its damn poison folks. The fact that HAZMAT is called out to clear places with meth, and that the folks completely suit up in protective gear has got to be a pretty good clue. I don't care how dumb a person is... if they don't get that then God bless them cause they need a lot of extra care.

I've seen the face of meth up close. (people asking for money and/or cigarettes) Sores all over their face and body. Unable to stand still. Its sad... really sad. And I feel really bad that the government, in its attempt to "empower the people", have cut funding from so many drug rehab places. When the users reach their 'bottom of the barrel' there is no where for them to get help. And we're suppose to be civilized. Yeah, right.

Now haven't I just cheered you right up? Good. I just want to be sure you keep your nose clean. Pun intended, too. And if you have to do drugs, do something other than meth and/or crack, k? There's just no way outta that alley.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Stormy weather

 I've been using old pictures to post here and this one... well, this one I can't remember where I got it from. One of these days I'm likely to be sued for copyright infringement but little do they know I HAVE NOTHING! Go ahead. Win the law suit. Can't get blood from a turnip. Or is that suppose to be 'can't get blood from a rock'. I believe the turnip comes from a truck or something. In any event, if someone complains I will grovel at their feet, plead a stupidity clause and if necessary, take all the pictures down.

My umbrella is broken. I discovered it this morning. The stem is bent and the clicker-thing is gone. No doubt it happened when someone stomped on it because I told them they couldn't play with it. Good thing he's cute.

If anything even remotely interesting happens today, I'll be back with a report. Long-shot odds, but you just never know.
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Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Waiting for the rain

 (I don't know where this came from... it just showed up in my files.)

Waiting for the rain. Thats much like watching grass grow or paint dry. Nothing going on around here. Oh sure, folks are still smoking crack, but they are being quiet about it.

Earlier today I was outside having a smoke and my 'nice' neighbor (not the one I'm usually talking about) came to chat. She noticed the paper trash stuck in the small bushes and mumbled something. (She cleans up around the property for a very small discount on her rent.) She walked over to have a closer look and lo and behold she found a crumpled $20 stuck in the bush. After mentally kicking myself for not looking more closely earlier in the day, I felt good for her. She needs it. She works a shit job, graveyard shift, and she is a substitute for a money tree for a couple of her friends.

We both snickered to ourselves a little... that would be $20 worth of crack that couldn't be bought or the dealer would be $20 short on his or her take.
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