'Visitors' is the subject for Illustration Friday this week... and I just had a visitor. The ex-neighbor. Sigh.
Last night one of my dream snippets showed the ex-neighbor following her ex-boyfriend (the one who worked for the property management company for a few months) as they walked towards her former apartment. He was carrying a power screw driver and gave me a little wave with it as he smiled. (The apt. door is covered by a sheet of plywood.) In the dream it was his way of saying 'we're getting into the apartment'. (Did I mention he had stopped by the other day in real life to see what had happened to the ex-neighbor?) And that was all of the snippet.
Then earlier today I noticed the ex-neighbor walking down the street carrying a couple of plastic bags. Plastic bags seems to be some sort of identifying badge or something with the addicts. So many of them carry one or two. Or maybe its because they're homeless. Anyway, I just watched her walk on by. She's wearing the same clothes and is looking a bit straggly. (She had a chance to get some of her clothes at the time she was evicted, but she chose not to... for whatever reason.)
A few hours later I was standing outside by my door having a cigarette and she came around the back corner of the building and came up to me.... like she had already decided to come to my place. (soft internal moan of 'oh no....') I know she's after something. Most likely a place to stay, or use of the shower, or a few cigarettes or change.... something.
We talk for a few minutes. She's on the street. No place to stay. The night it rained she stayed in an abandoned car. Her kids won't even help her. (All of her kids are staying with the oldest son. (Three sons/one daughter) These are the kids that she kicked out of her apartment and she wouldn't let her daughter get any of her own clothes, etc.) "They wouldn't even let me stay there until I go into rehab on Monday." (I don't blame them, although she does. I think she's forgotten how shitty she's treated them.) Everyone else seems to be wrong, in her opinion, for not helping her out of her own mess.
She's been to court for when she robbed her employer and they dropped the charges. She asked the court for help... that she needed help in getting off the drugs, and I guess that is how she got the rehab lined up for Monday. If the rehab story is true.
Anyway... she talked for a while then she gathered up her things and I went inside as she left. She had given me the opportunity to invite her to stay with me for a couple of days, but I didn't take the bait... and she didn't come right out and ask me, either. The answer would have still been no. I'm not going to invite a crackhead into my home. When I was younger, I was more "use-able", but not now. Addicts are desparate people who do desparate things. Their intentions are always good and always sincere.... at the time, but intentions fade quickly in the sight of temptation.
Seems my dream snippet was a heads up so I wouldn't be caught off balance. I hope things work out for the ex-neighbor, but I can't help her. I won't put myself in harms way. Chickenshit? Perhaps.... but I'm not a fool. Usually.