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(from my email)
1. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
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2. A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure
wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
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3. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo while I asked “No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.
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4. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
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5. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for
me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"
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6. A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted "Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."
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7. Our five-year-old son couldn't wait to tell his father about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark. "What caused the submarine to sink?"
With a look of incredulity Mark replied "Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!"
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8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy
whispered "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
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9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied “I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four to six."
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10. A second grader came home from school and said to her mother "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y" to "i" and add "es.”
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11. "Give me a sentence about a public servant" said a teacher. The small boy wrote "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure" said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
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12. A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in the cup. She said "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson said "Grandma, it says on TV… 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!"
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13. A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. “ They use him to keep crowds back" said one youngster.
"No” said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs" she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
The crazy drunken neighbor has been at it since Friday evening. Earlier this morning, around 2:30am, I heard a noise in front of my door and then her door closed. I gingerly peeked outside. There is a large metal water-hose container on the landing and she apparently was trying to pull it in front of my door. It wouldn't move that far since the hose was connected to the outside water faucet... so she just tried to lay as much of the hose in front of my door as was possible. That gives you an idea of her intelligence.
In the lower left corner of the picture you can see the hose container, to give you an idea. Oh, and that chair you see... she took it last month. And just to be doubly mean she swiped the wet, soggy door mat, too. WTF?! Sigh. I'm not going to even try to get my car fixed until she's gone because she will just attack it again. And speaking of my car... later, when its light outside, I will need to go check on it to see if she's done anything else to it. (There's just street parking here.)
I'm very concerned that her behavior is going to get her hurt or worse, but there doesn't seem to be any way to stop her. Based on her intelligence level there is no way of "talking to her" to point out possible consequences.
Because she is able to stay up for days at a time and she is a walking skeleton, I think she may also be a crackhead, besides being a drunk. I googled "crackhead" and it looks like the country is over run with them. If the terrorists don't bring down the country, then the crack and meth will.
No guts, no glory! No wonder NBC's ratings suck. They take a show, The Book of Daniel, that is innovating and, although controversial, good fodder for possible expansion of closed minds and put it on the shelf. And gawd forbid that a show would display a man's personal relationship with Jesus. I guess there are some christians who don't think an individual should be talking directly to Jesus... perhaps they should go thru a third party like a pediophile prist. BOO on NBC for caving! BOO on the sponsors that pulled their support. Its all about the money. Its all about the control. The christians who don't like the show should have simply not watched it. Get a grip for God sake! I suppose next we'll be having christian terrorists bombing networks who show programs they don't like. NBC use to be my favorite network. Now they are off my list completely. PBS... I LOVE YOU THE MOST!
If you do, then check out Donna Young's paintings! She was featured on Oregon Art Beat this past week. I can only imagine what the paintings must look like in person, because they are awesome even just seeing them on my monitor and TV (whose color is going out). She said she paints between 50 to 60 paintings a year and works from 8 to 5 creating her art. Be sure to check out her gallery.
There's a lot of makeovers going on... and some of them should be STOPPED! But that's just my opinion. Check out the Before and After Gallery on TLC's site. Many of the people there look better before the change. What do you think?
Here a just a few of my favorite movies... those that I can watch over and over. This is by no means a complete list. I'm sure as soon as I post this I will remember more. DOH! (A Little Princess is a specific version... the one made in 1995. The cinematography is awesome.)Create your own Movie List @ HotFreeLayouts!
I was thinking about it being Thursday and that means its the day for Thursday's Thirteen list... I was thinking I don't feel like doing it. Leanne feels the same way. That sure takes the pressure off. And those who want to continue, or do it sporadically can do so.
Gawd, give the old crabby woman a bone, or sumpin.
Nothing much going on around here. Its still raining and houses are still sliding down hills. We've got a Pineapple Express blowing thru... very mild, about 50 degrees.
If you want to check out some terrific photographs, check out the National Wildlife Federation Photo Contest. They are awesome! (I think its the white background the but winning photo of the owl in flight makes me think of a stuffed owl.)
Everyone is still waiting for the crazy neighbor to move. Having to do things the legal way takes FOREVER. I suppose one day there will be gobs of cops here when she has to forcibly be evicted. Unless I die of old age first. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. Sigh.
It sucks not being able to jump in my car and go somewhere... anywhere.
Not being able to go somewhere means I'm not spending money. Conducting business by mail isn't great, either.
The sun will be out tomorrow... bet your bottom dollar... tomorrow....
Nothing... I got nothin'.
PS... I hate those damn web sites that won't let you back out of them. Geesh. I stumble into them by mistake and I just want to get back out to where I came from... but NOOOOOOOOO... their little pitiful site is so frigging precious, surely I could not possibly want to leave. GRRRRR Does anyone know if this is a technical situation that people are stuck with?
Here's a place to find photographs to use for reference or whatever. It appears to be free for public use... I hope I read that right. Its called MorgueFile.
PS... upon closer look it may be that some are free for public use and some are not. Please check for availability before using. Thank you.
I love them, don't you? I think I've only ever received one and that was over three decades ago. There might have been two, but surely no more than that. And I've just stumbled across a bevy of them. Be still my heart!
I was crawling through my bookmarks and got to Karen Winters' blog. She's the one who directed me to Danny Gregory's blog. Now I have his site bookmarked, but its in an older folder and I don't always get to it. (I'm moving it to my 'favorite blogs' folder today.) And I know gobs and gobs of people already know about Danny's site, but perhaps not everyone, so I'm pointing you in that direction.
On the odd chance that someone might go through my archives here is where you will find Danny's illustrated letters post. He held a "contest" and people from all over the world entered. Just click on "VISIT THE ILLUSTRATED LETTERS HERE" link. They're great!!
Crusty's Morsels
1. I don't like it when comedians take cheap shots just for a laugh...Prince Charles and Carmilla can't help what their physical appearance looks like. And I don't think the jokes are funny. And I don't think Carmilla is ugly. (my apologies if I spelled her name wrong.)
2. I keep having dreams of intimidation.
3. I'm marking off the days on the calendar until the 22nd of January. That's when my deranged neighbor is suppose to be out of her apartment. She's been quiet the last three nights.
4. I will often have images of people's faces flash through my mind when I'm waiting for sleep to come. Last night one of the images was the back side of two hairy legs of a man. Huh?
5. I tried to do some sketches, but its been so long I'm going to have to 'warm up' to it. I don't seem to have patience. Or focus.
6. If I could change who I am, my personality, I would.
7. I've been feeling depressed over all the violence in the world. Lack of sunshine and constant rain may be contributing to it.
8. We are having a break in the rain right now (a whole day, yahoo) and I must get my butt to the store this morning. Rain is forecasted for early afternoon. Since my windshield wipers don't work, timing is everything.
9. I'm not going to see about fixing the wiper arms until after the neighbor is gone. I don't want to give her something to break again.
10. My son called last night to ask me what my maiden name was... he was getting his birth certificate. I'm thinking he might be going for a passport.
11. I will be jumping into the shower when I finish this list.
12. A friend gave me a subscription to Vanity Fair magazine. Its got the best horoscopes that I've ever read. Guess I'll be able to read the articles now, but boy, does it ever have gobs of ads! Actually, I think that's all it is... a catalog of advertisements.
13. Hackers and virus creators suck and I hope they all get physical infections.
I have no title. How will I know what to write about if I have no title. Dilemma dilemma. And isn't that an odd looking word dilemma. Odd, indeed.
Sigh.
It feels like all my illustions about the world and about life are popping... popping like corn. Perhaps that is why old crones are bitter. The fantasies have all died to be replaced with reality.
The justice system exists to protect the criminal. (Can you say "OJ") Law and Order exists only when everyone buys into it. And money is what makes the world go around. Some would argue it is the love of money that does it, and I wouldn't debate that detail... but money, whether that equates to power or not, seems to be what motivates people.
Oh sure... there are exceptions, but I'm talking generalities here. I use to deride the police and the number of people they kill. Now I am more inclined to say Kill the MFs... save the county some money and get the f**kers off the street. They're just a pain in the ass!
So many things turn out to be deceptions. Tooth Fairies, Santa Claus, government intregity, religion, the list can go on and on.
Where's that chill-pill?
Guess what... Its still raining! There are low-lying areas around the city that are flooding but most of the city and suburbs are not affected. That doesn't diminish the problems that some folks are having to deal with... its just that the whole area is not affected. We are suppose to be getting a 24+ hour period of no rain, which will be gratefully accepted. I have a mildew/mold problem here in the apartment and it seems to be directly related to the rain, smell wise anyway. I've reported to the manager and will see what can be done.
Yesterday the children's program Reading Rainbow featured a book written and illustrated by Patricia Polacco titled Rechenka's Eggs. Loved the illustrations and the story. They also showed the author making beautiful dyed eggs. (I don't know the term used for these eggs. I think its a Russian art form. My ignorance is showing.) What a process... makes one appreciate the art even more.
If you want to check out her illustrations, go here. If you go to her home page (see link above) and scroll down just a little, there's "author info" and you can see where she lives and works... and you can even see her with her pygmi goats.
Our local public channel has started a new art series on drawing. Its good. I've gotten a lot of information and I've only watched it twice. He's a very good technician.... but... you knew there was a 'but' coming, didn't you. Well, my 'but' is that the portraits/drawings look great and are done so quickly, its amazing, but they don't look like the models. The portrait of the little girl looks like a blonde haired little girl, but it doesn't look like the person. Today he did a man and wife. The wife's face was on the long side, but he made it short. Her nose was just a tad long, which matches the shape of her face, but he made it short. Is that what happens when you get a lot of technical training? Traditional training? The drawings looked great... just didn't look like the person/people. I don't want to put his name down here because he may google himself to see what the buzz is and I don't feel like being exposed. Oh... and let me say I really like how the video was done. You can see the model and the drawing at the same time. Did I mention I am NOT a pillar of integrity?
January 22nd is the grand finale... that is the date the crazy neighbor is suppose to be out. I've started marking off the calendar.
